i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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