her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
