he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
