just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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