Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
