I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
