I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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