Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
