My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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