Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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