im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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