we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
