I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
