He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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