Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
