my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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