ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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