just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
