she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
