I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
