Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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