I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
