Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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