Quick, to the slutcave!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
