Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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