Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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