i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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