i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
