so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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