We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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