So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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