i think i have herpe
just one?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
