i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
