She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
