im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
