I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
