Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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