everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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