How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
