She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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