I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
handjob tips. give me some.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
