Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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