her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
