DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
