I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
