Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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