i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize