She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
