Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
