Define "chronic" masturbator.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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