Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
