Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
MIDGETS
????
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
