I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
