Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You left your phone here
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