so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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