**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
