her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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