Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
