I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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