So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
