all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
