glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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