There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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