My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
