I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize