No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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