Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
