On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
