I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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